Suicide and Seventh Grade: An Opened Letter to My Co-Teachers
Below is an email from our 6th-7th grade Humanities teacher, Danae Edsall, to her co-teachers, following up on a campus day class discussion. One parent forwarded it on: “I love the tone of her email -- one of humility and compassion but also boldness in not shying away from complicated/hard topics.”
Read it for a glimpse of 2 things we aim for at VCS:
a rich trinity of relationships between parents, campus teacher, and students
a classroom environment of discussion that digs into the big-picture insights and nitty-gritty applications of the books we read
It is shared here on the blog with Mrs. Edsall’s permission.
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Good afternoon 7th Grade Co-Teachers,
I hope you're all doing well today! I wanted to share a bit of our class conversation with you all as it concerns a topic you may wish to follow-up with your student about: suicide and salvation. I first want to provide the context for the conversation, as well as my response to it, in the event that your student should bring it up, or that you choose to bring it up with your student. If, after reading this email, you have any concerns or questions, please don't hesitate to ask, and I'd be happy to set up a meeting!
For context: today during our Literature time in Humanities class, we discussed our Pilgrim's Progress readings through page 164, which, if you've been reading along, means that we have followed Christian and Hopeful through their capture, imprisonment, and escape from the Giant Despair's dungeons. When they're in the prison, they are told by the Giant to give up all hope and to “carry themselves away”' (aka, commit suicide), as they will never find freedom from his dominion otherwise. Christian and Hopeful, both very upset by this proposition as well as by their current imprisoned state, debate the matter; in the end, Hopeful encourages Christian to stay his hand by reminding him of several truths (i.e., that murder is a sin, that they ought not to become murderers, that Christian has been brave in the past and ought to continue being brave now, etc), and they are eventually freed from the prison by the “key of Promise” which Christian discovers on his person.
In my opinion, it's actually a beautifully written passage that deals both lovingly and firmly with the prospect of 'suicide-to-escape-imprisonment' -- a topic which may seem simple but can be in fact very complex for Christians of all ages to ponder and discuss.
This part of our Literature discussion prompted a follow-up conversation about whether or not someone who commits suicide goes to heaven. This question has occupied hundreds of thousands of hours of discussion over the centuries, and is a topic about which there seems to be even varying beliefs among Christians. On top of the theological complexity of the question are the numerous psychological, spiritual, emotional, social, mental, and moral implications that the topic of suicide can stir up.
As someone who has lost two family members to suicide, I feel particularly sensitive to this topic -- both from a desire to see mental health destigmatized in conversation among Christians and from a desire to respect and dignify the curiosities and genuine questions your Logic School students may have about this complex and very real issue. Furthermore, I am committed to the belief that education (in all content areas) is primarily the parents' role, especially as it regards personal and spiritual conversations such as this one, and that you all, as their parents, likely know best how to discuss this topic with your students. I care deeply about the health and safety of each of your students, and want them to explore and wrestle with life's hard questions with the foundation of Christ's redemptive work and omnipresence as their hope-giving guide.
To these ends, then, our class conversation was grounded in what we could know from Scripture and from the lives of the saints. We talked about the Ten Commandments, as well as Christ's words in the New Testament to sum up the laws; we discussed God's omnipotence and mercy beyond our comprehension to forgive all sin. We were reminded of the personal nature of salvation and of God's sole intimate knowledge of each believer's heart and soul. We even tried to examine the question from different angles or justifications (e.g., what if the world is too painful a place to live, is suicide okay then to get to God sooner?), and we revisited Scripture's teachings on suffering and enduring the trials of this world with patience, fortitude, and faithfulness.
I don't know that we ultimately answered the original question of the destination of someone who commits suicide, but we did conclude that murder -- of self or others -- is sinful and should not be pursued. I tried to stress that this is an incredibly complex question/situation, one that we have to treat with seriousness, compassion, and humility.
I consider it God's providential guidance that we were able to look to Bunyan's great work to help guide our conversation: at the point when we, as a class, seemed most 'stuck' in this question, we looked at Hopeful's response to Christian's most desperate moment, and then to their eventual deliverance (by the "key of Promise"), which was a beautiful way for us to transition from the despair that talking about suicide can bring, to the less tense topic of discussing ways that we are encouraged by "the Promise" and what "the Promise" might look like in real life. I asked your students to reflect on (internally) a time that they were in a hard place, and to remember how they were encouraged in that time. I shared a few examples from my own experience -- i.e., that Scripture and hymns are often ways I'm reminded of "the Promise" or of what is true when I'm in a difficult situation. I didn't ask them to share these, as I didn't want any of them to feel pressured to make up an answer, or to share a personal answer with their peers if they weren't ready to do so, but it may be something to bring up with them at home.
I am praying even now that our conversation today was truth-filled and encouraging. You know your students best, and you may want to ask your student about this conversation at some point tonight or later this week, as it may rattle around mentally and not come out verbally without prompting. I don't know all of your families or your personal experiences with the subject of suicide, nor do I need to per se, but I do want your students to feel confident in their faith and their ability to talk about this topic with you all. I am praying for wisdom and charity for each of you all as you consider this topic and how to discuss it with your students if they are curious.
In closing, I was extremely impressed by how well your students handled the conversation today: they were respectful, patient, and humble as they asked questions and discussed our various tangential comments. This seventh grade group is so dear to my heart, and I thank you, parents, for how you've trained their hearts to be soft to truth and eager for justice and faith -- all of which was plainly evident to me during our discussion today.
I apologize for how long this email has gotten -- it was my intention to keep it brief. Please reach out if you have any concerns about how I handled it, or if you would like to discuss this topic further. I am grateful for each of you, and am excited to continue to partner with you this year in teaching and learning with your seventh grade students!
Blessings,
Danae