Learning to Wait
As a teacher, our day to day is filled with many periods of waiting. Though we accomplish a great deal with our students, that hard work is mixed with these times of waiting: waiting for students to all arrive, for students to finish assignments or tests, for students to be picked up at dismissal, among other things. Through my years of teaching, these times of slower pace have instilled more patience in me, as well as in my students. Our day runs most smoothly when all students are present and ready to learn.
However, we know that students, and teachers, work in different manners and at different paces. Additionally, there are circumstances that prevent us all being physically present each day. When we are present, we’re not always engaged and ready for the school day. When this happens, we (both the students and I) have a unique opportunity. Instead of becoming frustrated or impatient with others or circumstances, we can demonstrate a servant’s heart and love when we extend grace and patience to those around us.
Through the years, when the classroom’s daily rhythm is upset by absences, disengagement, or other circumstances out of my control, by God’s grace, I’ve learned how to better model love and patience for my students. However, as a teacher, there’s one area where I often find my heart growing impatient: a student’s progress, or rather lack of progress. If I have a student who’s struggling, whether it be behaviorally or academically, as the teacher I start to analyze and problem solve how to best help the student. It’s my job to help them navigate difficulties and persevere through the hard. When I’m unable to help the student come through the struggle and out on the other side, or when my prayers and efforts seem fruitless, I find myself becoming impatient - with myself, my student, the circumstance, or even at times with God. My desire is to encourage and walk alongside students, especially in the difficult times. However, when it’s hard to see the light at the tunnel, it can be easy to lose hope and lose sight. I find it especially difficult to be patient in the waiting, when I see the student working hard, when the parents are committed and supportive, and when I have implemented all of the ideas and strategies I can come up with. As an educator, and as a human, these are the times where I tire of waiting to see what will happen, or how God will work.
The struggle I've faced in learning how to weather these circumstances as a teacher, have only expanded this past year, with the current climate of our communities and the pandemic’s effect upon them. I’ve found myself asking, “How long will this last?” or “When will it get better?” or even “Will this ever end?” Similarly to how I would approach a student experiencing difficulty, I have looked at our current reality and the pandemic with an analytical mind and tried to find ways to persevere through, and live well day to day. Though it probably comes as no surprise to anyone, I was unsuccessful, in my own efforts, to find the formula for what I could do to make it all better. However, God, in His rich love and mercy, brought me back to Him, and used scripture to encourage my spirit as I wrestled with these things.
Back in the early fall, our church introduced a new song, “I Will Wait For You,” by Shane & Shane. I was already familiar with this song, God brought new life to the words as I sang them. A short time later, my husband and I led this song in congregational worship, and as we practiced, the words continued to penetrate and speak to my heart in new ways.
God will meet me where I am.
Psalm 130:1-2
Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!
O Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my pleas for mercy!
“I Will Wait for You”-Verse 1
Out of the depths I cry to You
In darkest places I will call
Incline Your ear to me anew
And hear my cry for mercy Lord
The beginning of the psalm and the song showed me that we don’t always cry out to God from the mountain top, when the sun is shining, and all is well. There are many times when what we are facing is dark, hard, and deep, and God knows this, understands this, and loves us in this. He meets us where we are.
My satisfaction comes from Him, and is in Him.
Psalm 130:5-6
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
“I Will Wait for You”- Chorus 1
I will wait for You, I will wait for You
On Your word I will rely
I will wait for You, surely wait for You
Till my soul is satisfied
As the psalmist cries out, he declares his reliance on the Word and puts his hope in God. The waiting on God doesn’t produce impatience, but rather satisfaction in God and Who He is. These words struck a chord, and continue to do so, as they challenge me to rely solely on God. When I am waiting, I can find true satisfaction, true hope, and true joy, because of God and His character and goodness. It has nothing to do with me or what I can do or accomplish.
Even in my waiting, I can be active in trusting and delighting in God.
“I Will Wait for You” - Chorus 2
I will wait for You, I will wait for You
Through the storm and through the night
I will wait for You, surely wait for You
For Your love is my delight
Waiting often seems like a passive state to me. However, as the song and psalm demonstrate, there is action in waiting when we choose to actively pursue God. When we choose to trust Him, we are not being passive and wasting time. We are standing back, waiting on Him, expecting Him to work, and delighting in His goodness and love towards us.
Through reading this passage of scripture and singing this song many times, God has worked on my impatient heart and opened my eyes to the beauty of waiting on Him. Whether I’m working to help a student, or living through a pandemic, there is joy to be found when I’m waiting on the Lord, and not just waiting for my desired outcome. As He so often does, God lovingly reminded me that I must continually shift my heart and focus back to Him. I will not experience any of His goodness when I’m centered on my own efforts, ideas, and outcomes. Only when I can surrender my will to Him, can I know true peace and true satisfaction. When I choose to rest and reside in His steadfast love, will I be able to know and experience the joy and beauty of waiting.